


Lost memories

by aguwustdick (sugandrew)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Diegos just mean, Five isn't heartless, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 05:29:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18046394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugandrew/pseuds/aguwustdick
Summary: Five felt like he was stuck in a nightmare, and in a way he was.His siblings laid dead in front of him.One, Two, Three and Four.Luther,  Diego,  Allison and KlausA look inside Five's brain.





	Lost memories

Five felt like he was stuck in a nightmare, and in a way he was.  
His siblings laid dead in front of him.  
One, Two, Three and Four.  
Luther, Diego, Allison and Klaus. There were two missing, but why weren't they looking for him?

The first three days he cried and he grieved. They were older but they were obviously his family, as their wrists proved. 

On the fourth day he started to take the pieces of his home that were laying on top of his brothers and his sister.

On the fifth day their bodies saw the sun. They were destroyed, and the dust was drying them, just like a mummy. He cried the rest of the day and night. As far as he could tell, he was the last person alive.

On the sixth and seventh day he buried them, they were already half covered in ashes and vomit laid on the side of his improvised graves.

From the eighth day he started to write equations wherever he could. He wrote in all of his father's books, his siblings' books, then the walls that were still standing. When he ran out of space and food he went to explore. He needed to survive. He had to go back.

By the hundredth day he was used to the ashes, and he got used to the roaches, too. He sat in the library, reading for the twentieth time “Extra-ordinary”, the book Vanya wrote. All the family's secrets, all the years he missed thanks to his stupid mistake. Ben died, that's why he wasn't with the rest, how alone Vanya was when he left, and it just got worse when Number Six passed away. How much they ignored her and how many times Reginald told her she wasn’t special. He felt so guilty.  
Then he started to write on Vanya's book. He wrote his finished equations and he tried them, then when they failed he wrote more. He wrote on the cover, on the title page, on the dedicatory, on the margins and between the rows.  
When the handler took him and made him “correct” the time lines, also known as kill people mercilessly, starting wars and massacres and what came in the package of being the Handler's personal protégé took a toll on him, so when he got back home the only thing he wanted was space, and the last thing he wanted was physical touch.

Forty five years after he disappeared he came back to his family. They looked just like they did when he buried them. It was hard to pretend he only saw their bodies when he looked at them.  
“I read your book by the way.” He said, but he didn't say that thanks to that book he was back home. “Definitely ballsy, giving out the family secrets.” Giving him everything he missed on the many years he was gone.  
“They hate me.” Vanya said.  
“There are worse things that can happen.”  
“You mean like what happened to Ben?” She asked, voice low.  
“Was it bad?” He didn't know how he was able to hide how much it hurt him to read it. How he wanted to tear the book apart after smudging the pages with his tears, but kept writing on it anyways.  
Vanya nodded, and Five's heart finally shattered.

"Is that blood?” She asked.  
“It's nothing.” He answered, but it was something. It was the consequence of coming back home.  
When she disinfected his cut he remembered that nobody had taken care of him with love in over forty years, so when she wasn't looking he couldn’t help but show the slightest bit of vulnerability.  
When she looked up he put his mask on again.

He was the only one that saw the consequences of the end of the world, and that meant he had to look at his brothers and pretend he didn't bury them in that weird state of mummification that the wind left them in, with only an eye to keep him going.

He saw ashes floating in the air sometimes, when he got distracted. He saw his siblings dead, Allison's eyes open but without looking, Diego bleeding and Klaus almost completely crushed with the remains.  
Every time he traveled he feared he was going to go back to that first day of April, when the world ended. 

He remembered that time when he was waiting in the car and a kid kicked something.  
Ashes.  
He opened the door.  
Everything was broken.  
He was the only one-  
Luther touched his shoulder.  
7 days left.

When he got the piece of metal on his stomach they had 3 days left to save the world. He limped to the couch and looked how bad his wound was. His vest was full of blood but it didn't look that bad.  
“What happened? Who did this?”  
“Irrelevant.” They had 3 days to avoid the apocalypse.  
“Don't you see how crazy this is?” Allison's question tipped him over the edge. He had a hole in his torso because he needed to save the world. You are not going to give up.  
“You know what's crazy?” he said, voice cracking with pain. “I'm a fifty eight year old man in a thirteen year old's body.”  
More for himself than from his brothers and his sister he said “Focus on what's important.” His wound wasn't important. He had to be there. The last time he wasn't-  
ashes, dust, bodies. Allison's eyes, Diego's head. Klaus’ everything.  
“Get your shit together.”  
“I want to live enough to meet Claire.”

While Allison was calling Vanya he laid against the wall behind her, trying not to fall asleep. So tired. So lightheaded. Diego came with the file and he limped to see it. None of them noticed.  
Harold Jenkins is Leonard Peabody.  
They went to his house, and Allison called him a serial killer and a mass murderer. He remembered the bodies. He remembered the massacres and wars he started. He remembered the Handler. “Thanks.” he answered, too busy focusing in not limping too much so they wouldn't notice.

Too lightheaded. He could hear Allison's voice talking about them, but the beating of his heart was too loud on his ears. He fell to the floor.  
“You need to go on without me. We're so close.” They said his name. Leave him behind. Save the world. We can do it.  
They didn't leave him behind. But they left his vulnerability forgotten in the attic of the house.

“Vanya is not important.” It sounded less harsh in his head.  
“That is heartless even for you, Five.” That time he had to to remove a bullet by himself with only his fingers and some gauze hurt less than this.  
“I'm not saying I don't care about her.” She was the one he trusted when he came back, of course he cared.  
But of course, no one noticed that.  
He needed some good sleep.  
But they had 2 days left.

The day before the apocalypse they found Harold's body. The world was saved, wasn't it? (It wasn't) He made himself some piña colada and took Dolores where she belongs.

The day of the apocalypse Vanya gave Allison a new hole to breathe through, and in that moment Five realized that she was going to be the one that would end the world. The Handler called him and he realized almost a minute too late that it was a trap. Then he saw Ben for the first time in forty five years. He was the same age his siblings were.  
Ben.  
Vanya was The White Violin, and she was going to end the world.  
Vanya ended the world.  
And he killed himself to save his family.

The day after the apocalypse he saw Reginald again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading it! I hope you liked it.


End file.
